Grace Under Pressure

note: Any private details have been changed/removed.

The Juravinski Cancer Centre is a massive glass and steel building that dominates the Eastern part of the Hamilton mountain skyline. It is a hub of cancer-related activity, including research, treatment and supportive care. A massive 75 million dollar fundraising campaign has allowed its administrators to get their hands on every cancer specialist's dream machine: the CyberKnife Radiosurgery Robot, which can kill tumors with sub-millimeter accuracy.

I’ve been placed as an elective student with a hematologist, a specialist who works with disorders of the blood. I’ve been so impressed by his vast knowledge base, his compassion and skill in communicating with patients. A woman will come in with rapidly advancing leukemia, and he will sit down with her for twenty minutes and explain her entire disease in layman’s terms. He wants his patients to know exactly what's happening in their body, and you can just tell that they really appreciate him. 

The most inspiring case I’ve encountered so far has been a middle-aged woman with advanced multiple myeloma, a deadly disease that ravages the bones. Her skeleton is rapidly deteriorating, compressing her spinal vertebrae so that they squeeze against her spinal nerve, causing excruciating pain. She can barely walk and keeps falling, splitting open her lip on numerous occasions. Meanwhile she suffers from a serious mental illness.

And yet her husband takes care of her with incredible devotion. He sets an alarm to wake him up twice a night to take her to the bathroom, makes all her meals and drives her to appointments. He manages all her medications and has even taken temporary leave from his work to care for her full time. Unfortunately her pain and stress have destabilized her mental illness and her mood is a rollercoaster, flipping from severe rages to extreme dispair. But her husband doggedly sticks by, enduring her temper while continuing to provide care.

When I think of a superhero, I usually think of a muscly manly man dressed in tight spandex, but in my opinion, this slender, bespectacled gentleman is indeed a superhero. When he said that he would stick by his wife through “sickness and through health” on his wedding day, he really meant it. At that time, his wife was a healthy, beautiful woman. He certainly couldn’t have expected her to be ravaged by mental and physical illness. But he stayed true to his wedding vows, even while many marriages end because of far less serious problems.

What motivates him? Is it a sense of obligation wrought by religion, family values or culture? Or is a sense of loyalty innately embedded in his personality? Clubbing at Sizzle on Friday night, I looked over at all the hotties on the dance floor and couldn’t help but wonder: How do I differentiate the genuine from the superficial? And would I have the fortitude to stick by my spouse through years of illness? Looking at the husband, I can just sense a gentleness and wisdom in his expressions and words that tells me he is a caring person to his core. 

Seeing this couple struggle together through this hardship has also given me a sense of perspective on my own problems. Honestly, I've been complaining way too much lately. Yes, I’m sick again with a fever, stressed out and dealing with an inordinate amount of work, but my problems pale in comparison to theirs. They've truly shown “grace under pressure” and I hope I can find a little bit of this grace in myself as I deal with major challenges over the next few weeks.