As it turned out, the plan badly backfired. Megan’s friends,
upon learning of the anonymous letters, teased her relentlessly and immediately
suspected my friend. Megan implored him to stop writing the letters, killing off
any potential for a steamy romance.
Despite this setback, romantic feelings simmered and bubbled
under my surface as the years passed. I had my first dance in Grade 6 with a
cute brunette and then my first date in high school. I planned our date to be dinner at a nice Indian restaurant. A couple hours before, I bought a
long-stemmed rose from the local florist, washed my car and put on my nicest
shirt and pants. Pulling in front of her house, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Her father answered. Shocked, I hid the rose behind my back
and proceeded to talk with him for 5 minutes. Please, please don’t ask me what I’m hiding behind my back. Then you’ll
know how lame I am, I thought. Once the girl finally came out and her
father disappeared, I gave her the rose and she took a good whiff… I think she
liked it. It was a lovely evening.
Unfortunately, once I entered university and became hyper-focused
on getting into med school, my romantic life quickly fell by the wayside. I
think the most romantic thing I did in undergrad was watch a rerun of The
Notebook with my mom. Sadly, this trend looks to continue in medical school, as
I find most of my time consumed with respiratory structures, cadavers and
freaky medical disorders.
And yet I feel a constant undercurrent of desire for
romantic love. It’s probably one of the most basic, primal needs one could have.
Intellectually I know that I’m headed towards a nice career, and I live in a
nice house with a caring family and great supports. I have many varied
interests that I enjoy, like badminton and writing. I don’t want for any
material goods.
But there’s something missing: the feeling of intimacy and closeness on a level much deeper than friendship. So many of our
interactions on a daily basis are superficial and meaningless; the average “Hi!
How are you?”
Love pierces this layer of superficiality. Two people in
love know one other better than anyone else in the world; each
other’s secrets, dreams and all the emotions, neuroses and vulnerabilities
usually kept well hidden from the world. I believe a couple crosses the threshold of
simply loving each other to falling in
love when they form a powerful bond that is nearly unshakeable by any
external force.
A man
truly in love is the man who marries his fiancée even after she has been
horribly disfigured in an accident. Or a woman who stays faithful to her
husband through years of war.
The
idea of establishing this deep connection with someone else seems like an
incredible dream to me. One day I hope it comes true.
