True Love

My next-door neighbors are a beautiful young family with three small children. One parent has a natural green thumb, planting her flower seeds in such a way that her front lawn blossoms into vibrant hues of orange and yellow every spring. The other is an expert cook. She never fails to bake us a delicious blueberry pie on Christmas Eve.

My neighbors seem to go all out for every special occasion; on Hallowe’en their house is decorated with cotton spider webs and Styrofoam tombstones; on Christmas they place an enormous blow-up Santa near their front steps; and on Easter, their kids dress up as rabbits, dashing around in a frenzied attempt to find hidden chocolate eggs.

This beautiful, loving family would never have even existed fifty years ago. Because, despite their dedication to their children, the parents would have been socially ostracized for the simple fact that they are both women.

Across the span of history, gay men and women have often lived at the peripheries of society, shameful of their true attractions and fearful of being discovered. As a result, they have often married the opposite sex, foregoing the opportunity for genuine relationships and true love, aspects of life perhaps more celebrated than any others. How many relationships have been prevented by irrational stigma? How many soulmates have been kept apart?

I’m proud to call myself a Canadian because, on the whole, a Canadian has the reputation of being a moderate, someone who eschews the extremes for the middle ground… for common sense. We’ve allowed gays to serve in our military because we know that they are fundamentally just as brave and capable as anyone else. We’ve allowed them equal rights of marriage because we know that their feelings are real, that their relationships are genuine.

The world has no shortage of suffering. The Intensive Care Unit at the Hamilton General Hospital, where I train every week, is full of the sick and dying. While we may be young and healthy now – perhaps even feel invincible – we will inevitably be consumed by aging and illness.

Why then, in the midst of all this suffering, would we ever consciously choose to destroy the opportunity for love between two people? Love that might blossom and pass down through the generations, strengthening the fabric of our society.

We would only consciously make this choice out of ignorance and fear. Because once we truly make an effort to get to know and understand gay people, we realize that they love as deeply, feel as deeply and care as deeply as anyone else.

As spring arrives, I look forward to seeing my neighbours’ lawn blossom once again. I look forward to the excited sounds of children drawing chalk patterns on the sidewalk and playing their imaginary games. I’m not sure what the future holds for them; perhaps they will be very successful in life, or perhaps they will be hampered by failure and unmet expectations. Whatever happens, I know that they will be able to look back at their childhood, at their two moms, and say that they were truly loved.