"Well," my dad said. "I don't think we should view this as having to 'come to terms' with something. They should celebrate this part of themselves and be proud of who they are. Why waste your life living with a sense of shame?"
My father deserves a lot of credit for this embracing attitude. He grew up in a poor, rural town in 1960s India, an extremely homophobic environment (in fact, homosexuality was only "decriminalized" in India last year). Although he initially shared this homophobic attitude, his views quickly liberalized upon coming to Canada. Our neighbours are a lesbian couple lovingly raising three bubbly children. They are generous, friendly and always willing to lend a helping hand. Meeting them and their beautiful family is probably enough to change almost anyone's views.
My dad's surprising answer also made me completely rethink the way our society frames its attitudes toward gays. We're told that it's important to be "tolerant", but that term seems to carry an inherently negative connotation. After all, I "tolerate" Hamilton's long winters and the unpleasant smell from my compost. But I don't just "tolerate" the diversity of cultures and people in Canada. Instead, I celebrate them for their unique and positive contributions to our society. In the same way, we need to inject a new spirit of celebration into our attitudes toward gays and lesbians.
And there's much to celebrate. Many of the greatest poets, authors, and intellectuals in Western history have been gay, such as Sappho, Leonardo da Vinci, Michaelangelo and Virginia Woolf. Not to mention countless contemporary figures like Elton John and Ellen Degeneres. This is no coincidence. At a young age, gay men and women are forced to undergo a profound process of internal questioning and exploration. Their unique formative experiences can devolve into anger and shame, or conversely blossom into a deeper appreciation of the human condition. They may also inspire great artistic expression, such as the timeless writings of British author E.M. Forster.
What's more, gay men are ubiquitous in the art industry and in the design rooms of fashion powerhouses such as Prada, Gucci and Louis Vuitton. They have historically faced a great deal of ridicule and harassment due to the stereotypical notion that their effeminate behaviour makes them "weak" or less worthwhile. And yet there they are: creating, designing and inventing. They deserve to be celebrated for their unique contributions and talents, and for being courageous enough to simply be themselves in the face of society's rigid gender roles.
But of course, not all gay people are in fashion. They are also our doctors, lawyers and teachers; our family members and friends. They've always been an integral part of our society, but only now are we finally beginning to allow them to live and love as they please. And yet we have further to go. We must, as individuals and as a society, move beyond mere tolerance and into a spirit of celebration.
